Misfortunes of LOVE
by littlemissunshine
Summary: The host club finds out that Haruhi may be in a relationship. A 'deeper' relationship than she has with any of them... so what will they do to get her back? plz R & R
1. Chapter 1

Dedicated to: crazzy2000

HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY!

Disclaimer: I do not own, OHSHC =.=

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><p>Arai's soft hands wrapped around Haruhi's petite waist. His soft lips grazing her cheek, as he mumbled a warm hello "good evening my lady, how is this fair day treating you?" Haruhi giggled, answering meekly "oh Arai, now that i saw you, my world is perfect again! *squeal* How are you today?" "Oh beloved, your laugh, if only it would come out of my unworthy lips, with a light kiss, may you be able to bestow it upon me?" Haruhi fanned her face with her hands, breathing heavily as she tried to stifle her laughs. Arai clutched her hands, his face held inches above her own "so what is your reply, love?" he asked with a husky voice. Haruhi 'fainted', then cracked, breaking into a train of uncontrollable laughs. Aria did the same, eyes watering as he pictured that scene in his head. They really weren't cut out to play Tamaki (and company)!<p>

After a few minutes they both stopped, leaving the aura around them light and fresh. "It's great to see you Arai" Haruhi said, brushing off her clothes. "Same as you Haruhi," Arai said lightly, pulling her into a gentle hug.

Two pairs of hands wrapped around Haruhi's waist, tightly pressing her against their bodies. "Good evening princess." They said in perfect unison, before pausing. A soft thin tongue traveled up her right cheek, "mmm fatty tuna" came Hikaru's reply. Kaoru brought his face closer to her left cheek, kissing her lightly. "How is this fine day treating you" they said. Haruhi sighed, brushing them off. "Guys you know, you're really predictable." She said bluntly. "I would call that harassment, god, if i had something on my face, just tell me." She pointed out with and uninterested tone. "Well how come he gets to do it, but we, your best friends, don't?" they whined, arrogance clearly in their voices. "That's cause, guys, Arai's my boyfriend." Haruhi said, bracing for their insane outbursts.

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><p>"BLOODY MURDER! MOTHEEEER HELP! OUR BELOVED DAUGHTER HAS BEEN POISNED BY HIS DEADLY LIPS! GET AWAY FROM HER!" Tamaki screamed, pulling at his hair as he raced across the room. "Noooooooo, you've hypnotized her, you've imprisoned her brain, making her think that it's okay to date at such a young age, let alone date the son of the devil!" Tamaki panicked, pointing accusingly at Arai. Arai just stared with disbelief, 'are all rich kids like this'? He thought. Tamaki cupped Haruhi's face; snapping his fingers before her, clapping, shaking her head, all the while yelling "WAKE UUUP! YOU'RE UNDER A SPELL! COME BACK TO YOUR DADDY! DON'T LET GO OF YOUR INNOCENCE!"<p>

Tamaki collapsed onto the finely polished ground, the soft 'thump' echoing across the room. He looked up, finger shaking, as he spoke, his voice stuttering in agony and misery (or so I think, but who knows with the king of drama!). He pointed at Arai again, tears trickling down his handsome face. "Y-you've *sniff* broken her! She is even more *sniff* blunt, and, non-caring than before. Wh-why, w-hat made you choose Haruhi to *sniff* corrupt?" He asked, as if a child whose candy was stolen; with an expression of pure heartbreak. "Oh Tamaki sempai it's okay, I _am _the one who said yes, and besides, I really _do _like Arai, a lot actually." Haruhi spoke quick and straight to the point, not doubting a word. While Tamaki stared, feeling betrayal and shock. "Mommy!" Tamaki whimpered. But all the while Kyoya watched with sweet amusement; yet feeling a small pit of jealousy brewing deep within his sly, sharp, anxious, mind. Much like the rest of the host club. Oh, how fond they were of their 'secret'. But Tamaki, of course, was the first to take action…..

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><p>He lost it, retreating to last stage possible. Tamaki held Haruhi's face with one hand, and lifted the other. Arai quickly tried to move to Haruhi's side, seeing the violent glare of Tamaki's eyes, but he was too late. All of a sudden during the blur of Tamaki's panicked rush, his hand released, crashing down on Haruhi's soft, pink cheek. The sound echoed across the room, a sharp shudder passing through all in the room. He had slapped her… But Tamaki stayed oblivious to everyone's shock. Vigorously shaking Haruhi's shoulders chanting "wake up, and awaken sesame". Screaming into her ear, and staring deep within her eye's. Haruhi stood, dumbstruck, though all her years with the idiotic king, she had never expected something as such, and as the sharp pain shot to her numbing cheek, she lost it. She threw a paining glare towards the watching Host Club, then pulling Tamaki down to her eyes, she let out an angered glower, so dark, it sent a shiver down Tamaki's bewildered spine. Then moving to Arai's side, she took his hand in hers and walked, brisk and tight, dragging the shocked Arai, and ignoring the Kings whimpers.<p>

The twins tried to protest, but seeing Haruhi's growing fury, the backed away, joining the king and his sulking. The host's froze again, as the inevitable happened, Hunny ran and clutched Haruhi's leg tightly, crying for her to not go, Mori just watched silently, he too a little afraid of Haruhi. Haruhi bent down, facing the boy Lolita's crying face, she gently loosened his grip from her ankle, and instead, took it her petite hand. Hunny looked up with glistening eye's, and Haruhi said "Hey, why don't you, me, Mori sempai, and Arai, all go and get some cake?" And just like that, they all left, once again ignoring, the now violently loud cries of agony. Hunny skipping along, singing in a loud up-beat voice, as flowers danced around his body.

But all the while, the silent and sly Kyoya just stared, typing away, as his violent brain, brewed up a plan… Operation, Get Haruhi Back…

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><p><strong>The Following Day:<strong>

"HaRUhiiiiii!" Tamaki cried from his corner of woe. "I'm sorrrry!" His voice cracked, tears slipping uncontrollably from his eyes. "Please forgive your daddy, he was only trying to help you.!" Tamaki looked up with his huge puppy dog eyes, innocently turning toward Haruhi. Haruhi just glared his way. Out of nowhere Beary appeared. He hugged him. "Oh Beary, YOU know that i was just trying to protect Haruhi, right?" Tamaki cried. His tears now soaking Beary's fur. Looking up one final time into Haruhi's large hazel eyes which were now filled with anger, he started to grow his infamous mushrooms. Hugging Beary vigorously, all the while woefully poking at his mushrooms he cried, with an eternal air of doom lingering above his sulking body.

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><p>Hola peoples! How are u guys? XD I hope you liked this fanfic! (it was kinda just a trail chapter) based on your reviews, i will tweak the story to your will. I need you to tell me whether this should be a Heart no Kuni no Alice crossfic, or if it should be just single…. :P HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!- littlemissunshine ^_^<p> 


	2. Morning Glory

**Sunday: 6:30 am**

"Boss, we already told you, this is waaay too early for ANYONE." The twins whined, looking impatiently at their idiot king. Tamaki stood in front of Haruhi's apartment door, ready to knock, smiling proudly. "Oh, my bisexual supporting cast…you know not of the magic behind my purely genius plan." Tamaki said, looking at them as if _they _were the idiots.

~begin Tamaki mind theatre~

'Knock Knock' the door opened, revealing wide brown eyes, and a sleep filled cute face. "Who is it" said a meek, shy, voice. "It's just me, my loving Haruhi… did you miss me?" Tamaki replied, heart bursting with love. "Oh, sempai, I'm so glad you came, I had such a bad dream." Haruhi said crying, all the while flying into Tamaki's open arms. …"I love you Tamaki" "No my sweet princess… I love you more…"

And thus… their relationship broadens…

~end Tamaki mind theatre~

"Tama-chan looks so happy!" Hunny sempai said with glee "Oh he is happy" the twins smirked. "Happy with his perverted little dream… aren't you Milord?" they said wickedly… pointing at his drooling face. "Takashi, is Tama chan a pervert?" Hunny sempai asked with awe, hugging tightly onto his stuffed bunny usa-chan. "Ah" Mori said, conveying no emotion whatsoever. And Kyoya just stood, the air around him blackening, dark mood chasing away any light…

*poke* as the twins poked Tamaki's dazed face, the king slowly awoke from his fantasy "OOOW! Motheeeeeeeer!" Tamaki screamed, flying into Kyoya. Kyoya glared, hands flying up as he pushed away the crying king. "Why the hell must we come in this unearthly hour? I just want to go home, prat." Kyoya said, eyeing the king with an expression so dark, it brought tears into Tamaki's eyes.

"Tama-Chan, Takashi said this was very important… but Usa-chan is vewwy sleepy, and I didn't get any cake today," Hunny sempai said, crying, whilst hugging Usa-chan. "Oh Hunny, and my dear supporting cast. This is all according to my plan. Tamaki said, glistening with pride. The 'homo' cast members looked upon him expectantly… waiting for his delusions to start.

"Just imagine, we knock, and a remarkably cute Haruhi opens the door. Sleepy eyes, hiding any anger left, and most of all…imagine her petite pink night gown…making her soft skin shine like a thousand diamonds." Tamaki said, beaming. "Oooohhh!" Hunny sempai cried, clapping while imagining the scene. "Good thinking me' lord!" the twins said, bowing deeply at the king's feet in awe. Even Mori, with his stoic face, imagined the scene, and his eye's glistened, but not enough to be noticed… It was only the shadow king who didn't shed even the smallest emotion. Keeping his usual shadowy mask, he knew that what Tamaki imagined was the inevitable. However much he also wished it…

"Tamaki, though my many years of living through your idiocy, have you ever considered the fact that Haruhi may become _more _angered by the earliness of this house….much like many others involved in this scheme of yours." Kyoya said, raising his glasses, so that the glare of the glass exaggerated his own angered glare. "Oh Kyoya, my little Haruhi will leap into my open arms for sure. For just last night, I snuck into the house and put a few spiders in her bed!" Tamaki said, beaming from ear to ear. "So as usual, I am always one step ahead!" he said once again wearing a grin, which enhanced his pure stupidity.

The host club just stared, trying to decipher how he came to be the classes 2nd best student. Lacking common sense should count for at least HALF of his grade! *advantages of being the chairman's son*they all thought. For as the host club watched; the king once again came near her door, ready to knock.

*knock Kno-

The door flung open, sending Tamaki sailing from behind the door. Tears flew from Tamaki's crumpled, un princely face, as he landed in a rough mess beneath the stairs. "Hello Haruhi's friends! I'm sorry, I think I just hit a Pole or something, but please do come in!" Ranka said, smiling while gesturing wildly for them to enter. As the door shut, Tamaki screamed, outstretched hand dramatically reaching out to the door, whilst he screamed Haruhi's name in vain. "Is that the cry of a rabid animal I hear? Oh dear, I hope Haruhi, steers clear from such nasty vermin!" Ranka said, bolting the door.

"So how are you? Please excuse my appearance; having a day off today I did not think to wear makeup!" Ranka said, leading them to their seats. "So what are you guys up to today? Planning on taking away my dear sweet Haruhi?" Ranka asked heartbroken. "Actually" the twins started to speak, but before they could, the door opened. In came Haruhi; She was dressed in a small orange sundress, with a bow upon her head. The twins immediately sent 2 thumbs up on Ranka's direction, mouths widening in approval.

Haruhi sighed, eyeing the host club warily. 'so much for studying' she thought. She stepped in through the opening, straight into a jumbled mess of arms. Hands tightened round her waist, as all the while, fingers ran through her silky soft hair. "Guys? What are you doing here so early." Haruhi asked exasperated, finally breaking free of the tight 'hug'. "Haruhi...! Do you not like seeing us?" the twins whined, shoulders slumping in disappointment.

Haruhi sighed once more, leaving the question unanswered, as she walked into the small house. "Where's Tamaki sempai, I would think this to be one of _his _idiotic schemes." Haruhi said bluntly, completely oblivious to the malice in her words… and the staggering host king coming through the door.

"Whhaaaa?" Tamaki cried, as he heard Haruhi's cruel words. He immediately ran to the far corner of Haruhi's small apartment. And started to grow mushrooms, poking them sadly, while clutching the magically appearing Beary. He looked back at Haruhi with his wide eyes, then turned, showing his dramatic act of sadness.

"Oh my dear Haruhi, don't let your mood be strangled by filthy vermin like him." Ranka cried, kissing his dodging daughter.

**A few minutes later:**

"Sempai, come one" Haruhi said, sighing.. "I'm sorry okay, I didn't know you were there… but I expect nothing less from you sempai, you're the only one I know who plots such schemes!" Haruhi said, still as blunt as usual. But as usual, it was to this, that the idiot king felt complimented. He rose from his dreary corner, turning all said mushrooms, into brilliant red roses. "Oh my dear daughter, he said, launching himself at her… I knew you loved your daddy!" The oh-so-smart king stated confidently, before her very REAL father, who was very openly raging.

"Sempai! How many times do I have to tell you… your not my father!" Haruhi said, exasperated with all that was going on. "Oh Haruhi, my dear daughter, must you deny the truth that lies within this field of roses, we call life?" he asked dramatically. "Oh mother, I am sad to announce that our dear daughter is stuck within 'that' stage… you know how teenagers are!" he said in a mock whisper, eyeing Kyoya thoughtfully.

"WHO IN HELLS NAME DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" screamed a now broken Ranka. The King looked at him with naïve innocence, "I'm her father" he said meekly. Ranka snapped, and turned a flaming red face towards the idiot kind who stood before him. " **I **!$^$#^&!#! KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE A CHILD!" Ranka screamed, pointing at that little place between his legs… "NOW I KNOW YOU MAY BE GAY… BUT TO BRING DEAR KYOYA INTO THIS, AS WELL AS MY SWEET DAUGHTER… WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" he yelled, showing no mercy to the crying king.

"Dad!" Haruhi exclaimed, wishing inside, that she had stayed at the grocery a little longer. All the while, the twins sat on the couch, snickering, and trying their best to tame their erupting laughter. "Takashi, do you think she has any cake?" "ah"

"Now I have a perfect solution" . Kyoya said, raising his glasses, to decline the evil glare. He paused his occupation with his ever-present laptop, and slyly looked up. "How would you feel about some host club therapy? The Ootari business has now expanded to in-house therapy, If to solve this problem, I can manage to schedule an appointment." He offered, face stoic yet wary on the outside, the inner Kyoya however, was slyly beaming to himself 'oh a perfect, and rather money saving way to test our new therapy technique, those idiots fall for anything… ah, the peace I will get after this is over… a truly beneficial scheme!' he though, with a little smirk of triumph, that hardly went noticed…


	3. Host Therapy 101

Hosts therapy 101

All the hosts were gathered around the grand therapeutic room. Rouge curtains closed, leaving the light at a preference that only Nekozawa would have liked. The whole room was silent, the rustle of fabric, heard like a thousand shouts. Then all of a sudden they all gasped, the black painted, mysterious door lurched open… an out came….

A wizard? Tall and lanky he stood, high leather boots pounding the ground as he walked. The cloak of red and black velvet flew from behind him… high pointy hat, droopy at the top.

He looked at them, and with one graceful flourish, motioned them to stand. They all did, Hunny trying his best not to cry due to the dark, and mysterious man before him; instead he just tightly held onto usa-chan and Mori sempai.

The man sighed, looking at them once more, then motioning them back to their seats. The twins immediately began to grumble, not accustomed to a man of such; but they were hurriedly cut off as the 'wizard' spoke.

"ah, I see, you must be the case marked 'impossible' which sat upon my desk this morn…" he said. *PFFFT* The twins tried hard to stifle their laughter as they heard his voice. Instead of the low deep rumble they had imagined, the tone was high and squeaky, reminding them very much of a mouse. Tamaki slapped them both on their heads, sending moans of hurt from the twins, but other than that, silence.

"Tamaki Souh? Which one may you be?" The wizard asked, eyeing the host's warily. "Ah fine wizard, tis I Tamaki Souh, sending many pleasures your way…" Tamaki said, loud and elegant, bowing deeply at the wizards feet. "Ah, you were the case marked 'idiotic', I see that the subtext (label) to your name is quite accurate." The wizard said bluntly, reminding the host's of their OWN blunt friend. "wha-?" Tamaki froze in his spot, mouth opening wide, before racing to the corner of the room.

And there he sat, growing his infamous, radioactive mushrooms. And sulking loudly as he hugged his magically appearing Beary.

*A few moments later*

"GYAAAA?" Tamaki screamed, eyes widening, as his whole body convulsed, hands pulling back in terror. He ran as fast as light itself into Kyoya's _closed _arms. Tears streaming from his eyes, as he cried into 'mother'.

"What is it now you… I mean, _daddy_?" Kyoya asked, half heartedly emphasizing the 'daddy' . "Th-th- there! It was a beast! It sprang from the corner, and i-ii-it tried to b-bu-buh-bite me!" Tamaki screamed, frantically pointing at the corner.

"Milord, it's just a small spider." The Twins replied blankly, knocking Tamaki's skull to see if he had a brain. The twins looked at each other wickedly. "Well what do you know? Its empty!" the twins said, shrugging, as they poked at Tamaki's melting body. "Hey Hikaru! I can see you!" Kaoru cried, looking through Tamaki's ear. The twins smirked and snickered, waiting to the King to once again grasp sanity. (But who were they kidding, the world would have to end before _that _happened!

"Well, if we could now start, I would very much appreciate it!" the wizard squeaked impatiently, eyeing the hosts warily. They all looked up in surprise… forgetting all about the wizard, as they had fallen back into the usual host club chaos.

"ATTEN HUT! SOLDIERS TO THE READY!" Tamaki screamed, hand raising in a salute, as he bounced back from his melted state. The hosts marched into a straight line, faces eerily serious, as they as well saluted (all except for Kyoya). "For gods sake, just listen will you?" the wizard yelled, voice booming like thunder… scaring the hell out of the dumbfounded hosts.

"Mr souh you are first. Without talking please draw a sketch of what you are feeling, absolutely _no _talking!" the wizard ordered. Tamaki nodded, "Yes si-" he began, instantly being cut off by the Wizards booming voice "I SAID NO TALKING!" he squeaked, high voice reaching a new record of high. Tamaki nodded, then taking the note pad began to ferociously work.

30 minutes later….

He lifted the sketch pad and beamed, showing it to all of the host club (And the wizard). They all sweat dropped, expressions blankly searching the page.

It was all stick figures, one being who they thought was Haruhi, and one being Tamaki.

There were flowers all around them, and in Haruhi's hand, was what they supposed as, fatty tuna. And she just stood there, holding Tamaki's with one hand, while she ate her tuna with the other. On the other side was Tamaki, beaming smile, stretching out of his unusually round face. One hand holding Haruhi's while the other held a basket filled of fatty tuna. Right between them, there was a HUGE heart, saying H + T. And there in the very corner was a very uncharacteristic Arai. (they knew because his name was above the picture) Sulking in a corner growing mushrooms, with a BIG broken heart above him.

As the host club stared with amusement, and surprise, the wizard gasped. He fell to the floor, with his hands pressed against his chest. The host club, now fully aware of the wizard, gasped as well. They all (except Kyoya) ran to his side, including Tamaki, notebook dropping from his hands.

"NOOOOOOOOO." The wizard screeched, dramatically reaching out to the falling notebook. The twins looked at each other blankly… were _they _really the idiots, when _he _wason the floor, screaming at a notebook?

"Wiza-chan, are you okay?" Hunny asked sympathetically. "I think that the best medicine for this is a nice big cake! It could be half chocolate, and half vanilla! OH and it can have a lot of strawberries, and buttermilk icing! WIZA-CHAN! Do you like cake?" Hunny asked excitedly, mind completely off of the fallen man before him. The wizard sighed, frustrated.

He glowered at the club, and pushed them all of violently, sending them all flailing as they tried to gain balance. With all his might, the wizard quickly crawled over to the notebook, ripping out the drawing, he quickly began to work. Out of his pocket came a mysterious object… the host all watched in awe, hoping that it was a wand…. It was a pair of scissors.

The host all sighed in disappointment (all the while Kyoya was on his laptop), and watched the wizard, with a little less interest than before. A few minutes later, the Wizard got up with a dramatic flourish. The host's backed up, trying to avoid his widely waving hands. The Wizard moved swiftly to Tamaki's side, eyes wide in moe. "Oh Mr. Idiot!" he said, kneeling. "You are in LoVe with HAruHi FuGioKA !" he said dramatically, eye's glistening, with a faraway look.

Coincidentally, it was in that moment that Haruhi decided to opened the wide doors of the 3rd 'therapeutic' room. The twins smirked "well speak of the devil." The said, eyeing Tamaki with a look of pure evil. Haruhi was frozen in her spot, wide hazel eyes, now 10x wider. All stared between the dumbstruck Haruhi, and the melting Tamaki. Because in from the other doors, came Arai.


End file.
